The Case of The Pilfered Wallet

The Scene of the Crime: The P. household
The Victim: Jon
The Alleged Perp: Mike P.

The Allegation:

Jon's wallet was missing. Circumstantial evidence (poker face plus shifty eyes) pointed to Mike P.

The Investigation:
Everyone tore apart the house looking for the goods. Jon "carefully checked" his pants (we have only the victim's word on this). No wallet.

The Interrogation:
The alleged perp was seated under a bright light and mercilessly questioned by the victim. He lawyered up immediately (aka Mom) and kept his piehole shut.

The Torture:
Victim enlisted expert torture squad (aka the brothers) to try to break the perp. Perp's room was 'tossed' with an item at a time being thrown out in an attempt to crack his iron will. Wails were heard when the Star Wars poster went sailing out.

The Lawyer:
Protecting her client was her sole concern. She disappeared into the scene of the crime (Mom's room) and reappeared triumphantly holding the missing wallet. Attorney claims said wallet was in the pants pocket all along.

The Verdict:
Collusion and protection of the perp are suspected. However, perp escapes without serving any prison time. Victim still highly suspicious of both perp and his mouthpiece.

CASE CLOSED.