Tuesday, September 24, 2013

The WORST


SPOILERS AHEAD!

Here at Fluther HQ, we love our TV series.  And "Dexter" has long been a fave.  I got all the Longi's hooked last summer and we sailed through the glory years: Trinity, Ice Truck, Doomsday.  We had hopes for the final season.  It should have been great.

OMG it was the WORST. THING. EVER.  I don't know who wrote the final season.  I suspect the writers found the plots scribbled on a napkin at Denny's and went with it.  So many stupid/pointless/even more stupid plot lines.  Masuka's daughter via sperm donation -- WHY?  That plotline went exactly nowhere (and how realistic was it that she worked at a TOPLESS RESTAURANT AND MASUKA HAD NO IDEA THERE WAS A TOPLESS RESTAURANT IN MIAMI?)  Dr. Vogel -- could have been interesting, but the only thing she brought to the table was to endlessly repeat "You are the Perfect Psychopath, Dextah" instead of Harry saying "Dark Passenger" a million times an episode.  And WHY WASN'T HARRY IN THE FINAL EP????  Fail.

Plus Hannah?  Worst "hider from the law" ever.  Could she not at least have dyed her hair or put on sunglasses?  Oh, and leaving her to raise Harrison was brilliant on Dexter's part.  Because you want a multiple poisoner to bring your beloved child up (but I was rooting for her to sprinkle poison on Harrison's ice cream at the end.  I hated that kid actor)

Also, how did not one single person notice that Dex unplugged Deb and wheeled her dead body out of the hospital to their convenient boat dock?  And since when do hospitals have boat docks?  And Deb totes got robbed of a good death scene.  And Deb's wig in the flashback?  HORRIBLE.  The costume dept. surely could have done better than to grab a wig from Value Village for the poor woman.

And Dexter's nemesis, Saxon.  This was his go-to serial killer face:



Sorry Dude, Crazy Eyes from Orange Is The New Black has the rights for that expression.  PLUS, the final confrontation between Dex and Saxon?  Uber lame, there WASN'T ONE.  Angel burst in and handcuffed him.  The first time in 8 seasons Angel has actually solved a crime BTW.

So many sads.  Thank god Breaking Bad is so damn good.

3 comments:

Cara said...

worst. season. ever.

Meg said...

It WAS dreadful. Ry and I were cracking up reading your synopsis. You are spot on!

Katie said...

Still pissed/sad about how bad the whole season was. Boo