Monday, September 17, 2007

Thoughts on the Vast Wasteland


I enjoy TV, but most of time I only half-watch it while I'm knitting. I mostly listen, and even that is sort of half-hearted. But during my dreaded illness last week, I felt too crappy to knit or do much of anything but lay in bed or on the couch, and thus paid more attention to the boob tube than I normally do. Hence these 'deep thoughts' on TV:
1. I wish I was more like Spongebob, but I'm really more like Squidward
2. TV makes you fall into a coma very easily.
3. I have a deep affection for the fat people on "The Biggest Loser". You just have to love them for getting on a scale in front of the whole world.
4. If you don't have digital cable, afternoon TV really bites
5. I'm pretty sure I could start watching "All My Children" after a 30 year hiatus, and pick up on the story line without much trouble.
6. I've confirmed my deep belief that pretty much everything on Fox is total crap.
7. Is Oprah chubby again? I think so (still love you Ops!)
8. Paula Dean's boys are very cute.
9. "Big Love" is one of my favorite shows ever, but I really do NOT want to see Bill Paxton's white ass any more. Can't he have sex under the covers like every other Mormon or at least keep the holy underwear on?
10. My daughter Pia worships the cheesy tear-jerker movie. She sucked me into watching "Gridiron Gang", which had every cliche possible (but the Rock is hot so it was at least bearable) We've always teased her about tearing up over Hallmark ads, and I've now sworn a sacred vow to rise up on my deathbed as she is weeping at my bedside and croak out the single word "HALLMARK" as retaliation for making me watch this movie (which will make all her siblings laugh at her) Love you Peeps, you big softie! (and yes she had the weepy eyes at the end of the movie)

11 comments:

Unknown said...

So did you Squidward. No one was holding you in that chair...

Cara said...

You know PIa loves that crap/ This is the girl who strictly watches the WB or whatever that awful station is that plays 7th Heaven, etc.

Laurie said...

lol, believe me I know. We have the full season of Gilmore Girls taped!

Meg said...

Oh Pia Irene...just when I was thinking you were cool because you knew what a "squib" was (actually not sure if "cool" is the correct adjective..."dorky" may be more appropriate. But I love you for knowing!!!). And yes, Ops is gigando!

Laurie said...

we love the fat ladies! yeah Ops!

Katie said...

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make "Hallmark" your last dying word. I will laugh a LOT. even though you are dead. which will be sad, of course. I just laughed out loud at work, thinking about it. (the "Hallmark" part, not the you dying part.)

Laurie said...

I promise, and you can even put it on my gravestone if that will make you laugh AND come visit me.

Meg said...

Whenever I think of anyone on their deathbed, I think of the dream my mom always had about Bob Evans in the giant bed with red and gold brushed velvet bedding...and I can just hear you barely gasping "HALLMARK" in the same creepy voice as Zelda, from Pet Semetary, when she says "Rachel"...with poop on your shoes. I actually have chills right now.

Meg said...

That's supposed to be "crushed" velvet, not "brushed". Oops.

Laurie said...

REDRUM...HALLMARK. Same deal. And I was just thinking of Bob Evans yesterday! small world

Unknown said...

I can't help it if I'm sensitive, someone in this family has to have a heart you cads!
Mom, I'll come visit you regardless, just like I'll be the poor sucker who takes care of you when you are more decrepit then you are now (Mr. Burns). And I can't wait till you croak Hallmark, although more likely it'll be Hallllll..... if you know what I mean.