Saturday, June 25, 2011

Maybe It Just Isn't Meant To Be

Me riding a bike.

I got out Bertie the Bike today.  She has had a year of rest in garage due to last summer's "bwoken awm" debacle.  But it was gorgeous weather today, I needed to get something for dinner, the grocery store is like 6 blocks away, so it seemed like the time to renew acquaintances.

A year off of bike riding did NOT do me any good AT all.  Mind you, the route to the store is just a teeny bit uphill.  I was panting like a walrus by the time I'd gone 2 blocks.  Bertie is a fool-proof bike, with only 3 speeds.  I normally keep her in 2nd because, well, that's the only speed I know.  But I "downshifted" lol into 1st gear.  To get up the probably < than 1% incline.  And I was going about as slow as a human can go on a bike and still be making some sort of forward progress.  I'm blaming the tires, which I'm positive need air.  But I don't know how to check that.  I was wearing a helmet, so Safety Sam can relax.

I made it up to Albertsons (you remember, that's where strangers give me their game tickets).  My bike has BOTH a hand and foot/coaster brakes.  I panicked, not sure which to employ to stop my forward progress (I was being passed by snails, who flipped me off on their way by).  So when I put on the brake, I tipped over.  In the parking lot.  In full view of whoever was lucky enough to be shopping at Alby's.  I'm sure I made their day, and I'm probably getting millions of hits on my youtube video as we speak. Oh, and my thighs were so shocked at being exercised, they momentarily locked up and I wasn't at all sure I was going to be able to get back up. 

People, maybe I just wasn't meant to ride a bike.  Those who know me, know my long and dorky history with bike riding.  Me and the bike, we just don't mix.  Perhaps I just wasn't meant to have 2 wheel transit...

11 comments:

Cara said...

oh laurie, i love you!

Laurie said...

lol, Car. Wish you were here to keep me from tipping over!

susna said...

oh gawd - it took me 20 minutes to read this - I pee'd a little and almost fell out of my chair (is that Laurie or the other one??) - you made my day Sister - (sorry, it was a Baba moment - but the laughter was so good and you are so my sister)

Lis said...

I've hit a LOT of things on my bike. And I have ruined a lot of bikes in crashes. I feel your pain.

Laurie said...

so glad I could give you a day brightener, Susna! I'm still rubbing my scraped elbow. And contemplating putting Bertie on Craigslist

Katie said...

i love you SO much. this seriously killed me to read. i love how much you want to be a biker, i just don't think it's ever gonna be in the cards for ya... :D

Laurie said...

haha, I do see that I have a yearly post about riding my bike. And falling off. Time for the adult trike.

susna said...

either the adult trike, training wheels or go to the harley store and get some leathers . . .

zaideafraidey said...

you stay on that bike, the way it is going you can ONLY improve...and it is good for those thighs OR you have to come back to Seattle and body pump with me which is far more hideous.

Laurie said...

your class is sure to be horrible. And I could fall off and get run over by an Albertsons delivery truck, so it COULD get worse. Both feet on the ground walking for a while...

Pia said...

First of all, I would totally watch that youtube video. Over and over and over. Second, I immediately had to read this out loud to Krista in the office cause I was laughing so hard! Love you mom, and make Katie help you pump up the tires!