Thursday, December 22, 2011

Hoo Boy

So this little scenario at left is what we (my dear sisters and I) sort of dreamed would await our mom in the lovely assisted living home we were determined to find for her.  The perfect place, that she would just love and would happily spend her days with delightful people, doing fun senior citizen-y type things.

And truly, we want Mom to be happy in a safe and pleasant environment.  However, Mom is determined to not cooperate in making our  little dream come true :-)

We knew that she would resist moving to assisted living with every ounce of her 80 pound body.  She doesn't like old people, she doesn't like people who use walkers or wheelchairs, she doesn't like noise or clutter or change.  She also doesn't like small children or the British, but we were pretty sure we could find a place that didn't have either of those two types.  The other stuff, that was going to be a challenge.

Several of us checked out some places, in her preferred location and we liked what we saw.  One was brand new, with immaculate grounds and a lovely uncluttered living space for her.  The other was perhaps a little more "chaotic" but a block from her old home in Bothell, run by old family friends, homey and with lots of activity and life.  Great!  Two options!  Which would Mom prefer?

Jamie did a super sales pitch, suggesting that Mom would be happier living closer to her kids, in a lovely place and not alone.  Mom agreed!  She was super enthusiastic.  Until she actually went to see the potential homes.  THEN the fur bristled.  Mom is convinced she is perfectly fine in her home and living independently with no problems.  Which she is NOT.  Poor Jamie got the business and finally had to put her foot down.  Mom wasn't actually going to get a choice in the matter, she IS moving.  Which went over like a ton of bricks, as you can imagine. 

It's so sad to see the effects of dementia on someone who has lived a busy, creative life.  And who is no longer able to do any of the things she used to enjoy.  It's also difficult to make a life choice for your mom when she does not understand the need for that life choice.  And is definitely going to be darn feisty about making that life change.

On the plus side, Mom will not be harassed any more by the Shoreline Theft Ring who has been stealing her toothpaste and toothbrush at least 3 times a day for the last month.  So we can be grateful for that :-)

3 comments:

susna said...

It'll all be ok in the end - I am going to deliver her since she REALLY doesn't know who I am - and give her the rules - either this and you BEHAVE or the nursing home with the heel-chaired droolers in the hall. Get ready! Hope they don't kick her out right away . . . she is proud of her trouble-making abilities. . . someone should have curbed that in her youth - but NO - encouraged it all the way! hahahahahaha

susna said...

meant *WHEEL-CHAIRED

Laurie said...

or heel-chaired. She'll hate that either way :-)

Poor assisted living does not know what kind of a saucy gal they are getting :-) Lock up the 90 year old men!